The holidays are when parents make memories with their children and reinforce family traditions. They can also be a very stressful time, as parents have to stretch their budgets, acquire popular gifts and coordinate travel.
All of those obligations become more stressful when parents share custody of minor children. There are many opportunities for parents to end up embroiled in a dispute when they share custody, especially around the holidays.
The three tips below can help keep the holidays a peaceful and positive experience for the family instead of causing parental stress, which could trickle down and diminish the children’s enjoyment of the season.
1. Flexible scheduling and regular communication
The holidays may involve trips to visit family members or large gatherings. Parents who share custody need to communicate with one another as soon as they know when and where family events may occur. Proactive communication helps ensure that the parents can coordinate their schedules. They may also need to extend one another a bit of grace and flexibility. Parents often dig in their heels about scheduling matters, but being cooperative with a co-parent can decrease holiday stress and even foment goodwill between co-parents.
2. Gift coordination
Many parents, especially those who recently divorced or separated, compete with one another regarding the gifts they give their children. They try to outdo one another, which may lead to debt and resentment. Parents can make gift-giving more positive for everyone by working together to coordinate gifts. They can pool resources to afford more expensive items or acquire complementary items for major gifts, such as cases and chargers for new electronics.
3. Sharing important moments and traditions
Maybe the children put on a musical performance at their grade school before the holiday break begins. Perhaps the family tradition has involved taking the children to see Santa. Parents may need to communicate with one another to coordinate attendance for those special events. Ideally, they can both be present for the important moments that uphold family traditions and create memories for their shared children.
Being pragmatic and keeping the focus on the children can make it easier for co-parents to work together around the holidays. Adding the right terms to a custody order and communicating proactively can reduce the likelihood of the holidays causing co-parenting drama for the whole family.
