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Is “nesting” a good living situation for our divorced family?

| Mar 24, 2021 | Family Law |

Divorce is difficult, and, if you have children, the difficulties do not stop once you and your ex-spouse have signed the paperwork. You will still be in a working relationship with your ex-spouse in most cases, as joint custody is very common.

One of the more difficult aspects of parenting after divorce is dealing with varied living situations. For some families, moving children between two separate households is not an option. Some of these families are turning to nesting, which is a living arrangement involving the children staying in one domicile and the parents doing the moving.

Who would choose this?

Many families end up in a de-facto nesting situation at the beginning of divorce. Once the parents decide that divorce is the only way forward, it is not uncommon for one parent to move out of the house while the divorce proceeds. Nesting is merely an extension of this.

Particularly for families with older children, nesting is often the most conflict-free way to manage joint custody. Many older children do not like moving between households frequently. Keeping your children in the same house can reduce friction and make the adjustment to post-divorce family life easier on everybody.

Who should choose this?

A nesting arrangement is only going to work if you and your ex-spouse can still feasibly work together closely as a team. Nesting means that you will be continuing to jointly maintain the family home, which is difficult if there is significant animosity between you and your ex-spouse.

Essentially, if you and your ex-spouse cannot talk without arguing, it is unlikely that nesting will be fruitful for you.